i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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