I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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