I wannas sexs uuuuu
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
