So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
