its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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