I have demons in me.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
