How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
