sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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