Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
