If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
