I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize