Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
