I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
