This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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