At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
