her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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