look no pants
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Boobs speak an international language.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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