her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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