She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
