you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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