I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
