sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
