i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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