All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Houston, we have a squirter
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize