Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
