I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
