remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
