I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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