I just threw up on my dentist
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Randomize