Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
PANTIES FOUND
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
