But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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