i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Quick, to the slutcave!
my sisters under your porch take her home
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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