Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize