forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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