"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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