im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
