All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
