Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Boobs are out for the taking
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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