then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
