Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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