So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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