I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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