I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
