Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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