I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize