I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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