Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
