Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
