the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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