From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
