I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
