ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
