btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
