i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
as a side note pls kill me
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
