It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
