2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I think i peed on brittanys purse
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
