nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
