I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
