CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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