I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I will be naked everywhere
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
