K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i think i have two assholes
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
