Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Bang-toberfest begins!!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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