They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize