i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
