I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Michael Bay diarrhea
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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